So Gone
by Caliente
Summary: one-shot songfic, AU after X-Treme X-Men #18 –– 'Ah'm sure he didn't mean it.' That's what she tells herself, anyway. Rogue reflects on her relationship with Gambit as she finds the courage to leave him for good. –– WARNING: not a happy ending
1. So Gone

**Author's Note**: Another shameless songfic, sorry!! This story is not related to my other series. Which I will be continuing after I get over some writer's block. Anyway, it's an AU of what could have happened after X-Treme X-Men #18. It's an angsty Rogue/Gambit. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge R&R fan! It's just… I guess I was just in an angsty place. Tell me what you think. If you want a sequel or if you hated it and wish it would die. I wanna know!!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. Not X-Men or Marvel comics. Definitely not Monica or her song "So Gone". Only my doggie. Sammy. And you can't have him!!

"talking"

'thinking'

_emphasis_

{_song}_

_foreign languages_/_written words_

**time period**

**So Gone**

by, Caliente

{_So gone over you, you, you, you}_

She stormed into her room. Correction _their_ room. She threw her suitcase on the bed and started ripping her clothing out of the dresser and shoving it into the innocent luggage. She noticed the picture of him she kept by her side of the bed. She picked it up and glared at his smiling face. Then she chucked the picture, frame and all, at the door. The glass shattered, showering the floor like crystals. She looked at the floor and saw her tears drop next to the glass.

{_Silly of me/__Devoted so much time/_To find you unfaithful, boy_/_I never lost my mind_}_

**6 months ago…**

They had lost their powers and almost their lives. He had been ready to die but Rogue had begged to stay. "Ah won't let you go!" she had cried frantically. "You don't run out on us so easy! You got no right to call us quits b'fore we've had a decent chance t' get started!" She finally managed to drag him back to the living. She wanted them to work.

Later she found him. He was disappointed and disheartened but she tried to comfort him. She explained herself. "We've had our moments, Remy. They're not enough, they've made me greedy. Ah want a lifetime," she explained, hoping he would listen.

He did. Remy's answer was simple. "Okay."

She didn't understand. Nothing in their relationship had ever been that easy. "Okay?"

He wasn't ready to commit. Not in a forever sort of way. "No promises. Not yet, anyway." But he was willing to compromise. "We take t'ings day by day, we see where it leads, fair?"

She smiled slightly. He would never change. Not really. But she could hope. "It's a start," she replied. The future was full of hope. [1]

{_Drive pass your house every night/_In an unmarked car_/__Wonderin' what she had on me/__To make you break my heart, yeah}_

**2 months ago…**

She discovered his second home by mistake. Just happened to notice the rent on their bills and decided to check it out. Thought maybe it was a mistake. No sense in paying if it was. She jumped in her red sports car and jetted over to the address. It was right across town from her house and she had no problem finding it. 'Cute little abode,' she thought with a smile. She parked a few houses away, prepared to go talk to the owner about the rent charge. That's when she heard a familiar noise. A motorcycle. She watched from behind her car. Something just felt wrong. A bike pulled up to the house in question and a man hopped off. He wasn't wearing a helmet and his auburn hair was windswept in the most appealing manner. But his long hair didn't hide his eyes. His demon eyes. Red on black. "Remy…" she whispered in the wind. She watched him help his companion off the bike. She was Rogue's polar opposite. Blonde hair unlike Rogue's brown, slender where Rogue was curvy, bright blue eyes instead of the stormy green. She was built like a model and gorgeous.

"What're we going to do tonight, Remy?" she asked in a sultry voice.

"Dunno, _ma p'tite chere_. Have any ideas?" he countered with a smirk.

The blonde met his smirk with one of her own. "Only naughty ones."

"Dose are de best kind, _non_?" He continued talking, but they had shut the door so Rogue could hear no more.

"That lyin' Swamp Rat!" Rogue yelled to no one in particular. "Ah'll skin him alive! Ah'll kill him!" But she didn't. She returned home. To their home. 'I just want to gather more evidence,' she convinced herself. 'Ah'm sure he didn't mean it.' Still, Rogue felt that sinking feeling. Her heart was slowly breaking.

{_You make me feel I'm so gone (So gone), oh…/__You make me/__Whoa and I love you to love you, baby, I,/_ooh_}_

**Present day…**

She returned to her suitcase and shoving her items into it. She was careful to not take anything of his. Nothing he had given her. She made a pile. Stuffed animals, 'Ugh,' she thought. 'How corny.' Jewelry, 'Given with broken promises or fake apologies,' she told herself. Clothing, 'Ah, my favorite,' she recalled sarcastically. 'Always given to make me look good to him. Still wasn't enough.' Photo albums and pictures, 'Memories, good and bad,' she remembered with a grimace. 'Full of disappointment and heartache.' She formed her pile on their bed. She looked at all the items and grimaced slightly. They caused nothing but pain now.

{_Nights I couldn't sleep, uh/__You let the sun beat you home/__I asked myself over again/__What am I doing wrong}_

**3 ½ Months ago…**

She would stay up waiting. At first she would just fall asleep and he would be there in the morning. But she began to wonder. When did he come home? What time? So she stayed up all night, waiting. Waiting for her so-called boyfriend to come home. Wondering where he was. Why he didn't want to come be with her. Uncertain to what this meant for their relationship.

He would finally trudge in at 5am and collapse. 5am?! She was shocked. Rogue didn't understand. There was a time when she was all he wanted. Now he seemed to be avoiding her. She couldn't fathom the reason. There had to be a reason. Was she doing something wrong? Did he have a job he wasn't telling her about? What was going on?

{_To make you stay out all night/__And not think to call/__What does she have over me/__To make him not think to call home}_

**6 Weeks ago…**

She still stayed up waiting. But now it was different. She spent her time thinking instead of worrying. She would wonder, 'was he with her?' Blondie. She didn't even get the courtesy of a call anymore. Apparently he didn't have any thoughts of her at all anymore. That made her angry. How could he just forget her like she was some cheap whore that he kept around for his personal amusement? She was supposed to be his girlfriend. At the very least his friend. And look how he disrespected her. And for what? A perfect blonde Barbie. There was something about that girl. She had something that Rogue lacked. What it was, Rogue was at a loss. She had no clue. All she knew was that the blonde was winning the battle. She was apparently what Remy wanted. Not Rogue. Rogue was cast aside for the newer model.

{_You make me feel I'm so gone, oh…/__You make me/__Whoa and I love you to love you, baby, I,/_ooh_}_

**Present day…**

She gathered her pile of 'Remy stuff' off the bed and headed into the living room. She threw all of the stuff into the fireplace. Then she lit a match. Looking at the match for a moment, she contemplated what she was about to do. And then threw the match into the fireplace as well.

It wasn't an explosion. It was something slow and subtle, and she relished it. She watched all the broken promises, betrayal, lies, and memories go up in smoke. Like they were erased from her mind. Gone forever, never to return.

{_Listen, boy, I'm a rowdy chick/__Some times I have to fight 'cause my mouth too slick/_Baby, why you doin' me like I ain't worth this shit_/__Make me wanna ride passed your house and sit/__Kick down your door and smack your chick/__Just to show you I'm not havin' it/__So in love with you like a drug habit get/__You treat me so unreal}_

**3 weeks ago…**

She wanted to kick the bitch's ass. Even powerless, she was still a force to be reckoned with. Blondie wouldn't know what hit her. Actually, her name was Angelica Moore. She was actually an innocent bystander. Rogue had investigated her, trying to find out if she was a slut or just a home wrecker. She was neither. She was a part-time model, part-time waitress who thought Remy was just a handsome single guy. The young girl, she was only a year younger than Rogue but still, was blissfully unaware of what she had done. Correction, was doing.

Sometimes Rogue would fantasize about getting her revenge. She would drive over to _their_, not her and Remy but Angelica and Remy, house and sit. Waiting for the opportunity to get in there and kick some ass. She might not blame Angelica but she was still angry with her. If she ever got her hands on the blonde girl, let's just say Angelica would hope that Rogue hadn't regained her power of super strength. Then she would have her way with Remy. Force him to love her so she could hurt him the way he hurt her. Force him to feel the pain she felt. Force him to know the anguish she knew.

{_What she do, I do better (Ooh…oh…)/__What she do to make you love her (What did she do)/_Is it real or forever_/__Baby, please can't we stay together (Is it real or forever)/_What she do, I do better (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)_/_What she do to _make_ you love her (Yeah, ooh…)_/_Is it real or forever (Is it real)_/_Baby, please can't we stay together (Oh)_}_

**1 week ago… **

She tried everything. Tried to be better at everything. Still he went. She didn't comprehend. She was sure she was good in bed. She had been especially open to suggestions as of late. Yet it wasn't enough. Nothing was. He would still go to her. Why?

Then it dawned on her. Love. He must love her. Angelica. His new love. It made sense. He never said those words to Rogue anymore. Just that morning, she had said, "Love ya, sugah." His casual reply was, "Me too, _chere." When was the last time he had told her he loved her? He hadn't. Not for months. In fact he never seemed to say it unless he was about to lose her. 'Seattle… Antarctica… when he thought I was gonna die… when we both were about to die…,' she counted mentally. 'Never just because. Only whenever he was about to lose me.'_

She continued the week in a daze. He didn't love her. _He_ didn't love _her_. After all they'd been through. She kept up the façade, though. She didn't let on that she knew. Rogue usually wasn't one for subtlety but she didn't know how to approach this. She didn't know what to do. 'Can we stay together?' she kept asking herself over and over again. But she was too afraid to answer.

{_Whoa and I love you to love you, baby (Whoa and I love you to love you, baby)/_Whoa and I love you to love you, baby, ooh…_/_Whoa and I love you to love you, baby (Whoa and I love you to love you, baby)_/__Whoa and I love you to love you, baby (Just to show you I'm, not havin' it), yeah}_

**2 hours ago…**

He wasn't home again. Another night spent out with the blonde girl. She was alone again. The question that had been haunting her for the past week continued. 'Can we stay together?' she wondered again. Finally she answered her question. 'No.' That was it. She couldn't stay with him. She loved him so much it hurt. It physically pained her to know that he didn't love her. She loved him so much. She had been willing to do anything for him. For _them_. But now… it was all meaningless. God she loved him though. More than anything else. Somehow, she didn't think that would ever change.

{_You make me feel I'm so gone, oh…/__You make me/__Whoa and I love you to love you, baby, I,/_ooh_}_

**Present day…**

She watched the last of the fire burn out. It was just glowing embers. All the evidence of their relationship gone, she grabbed her bag again. She did a last minute check, to make sure she had all her belongings. She wrote a note to Remy and placed it on the counter. She looked around the place she had called home for five months with the man she loved and felt tears fill her eyes. Oh she was angry, but at the same time her heart was breaking all over again. She dragged her suitcase to the door and grabbed her keys. With one last glance around, she held her head high and opened to door. To find Remy.

{_Said that I need you/__I don't really need you/__Said that I need you, ooh}_

**Present day…**

She looked at him, startled. And he looked equally surprised to see her, bag in hand, preparing to leave their home. "Rogue, _chere_, what's--?" he began asking carefully, watching her every movement.

She interrupted him by placing her bare finger on his lips. Without saying a word, she gave him a soft kiss and slowly retreated to her sports car. He watched her go, pack her things in, and drive off into the darkness. Somehow, even in his shock, Remy made his way into the house and walked to the kitchen table. He sat in a chair for a moment before he noticed the note sitting in front of him. He lifted it to read it carefully.

_Remy—_

_I know. I'm so gone._

_— Rogue_

_P.S. I don't really need ya._

'_Mon Dieu,' he thought in despair. 'She's left me. Because of Angelica. Why didn't she just beat me to a pulp like I expected?' He sat in shock for a while before forcing himself to get up and go to bed. Somehow he had to make things right. He didn't want to lose her, but he had a sinking feeling it was already too late. She was gone._

Rogue let the wind play with her hair as she raced down the road. She could feel the freedom ahead. She wasn't quite sure what to do with it, but she was a strong girl. She'd survive. But before she moved on, she had to say good bye. "Good-bye, Remy," she whispered to the wind. "Ah love ya. Always."

Remy lay in bed, wide awake. He could almost hear her bid him farewell. "_Au revior ma chere," he told the dark, empty room. "_Je t'aime. Toujours._" Then he sighed and added, "I'm sorry. _Mon Dieu_ am I sorry."_


	2. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**9 months later…**

"I'm surprised y'called, _chere_," Remy told her earnestly.

Rogue nodded. Truth be told, she had been surprised too. "Ah guess Ah just wanted a little more closure. An' ta explain myself a little bit more."

"I'm all ears, _p'tite_," he said calmly. "What do y'want t'say?"

Taking a deep breath, she decided to just lay it out there. "Ah know everythin'. All the girls, all the one night stands, everythin'." Remy looked like he wanted to comment but she waved him off. "An' when Ah couldn't touch, Ah accepted it. Ah thought it was only fair. Yer a man, ya have needs." She paused for a moment to take a breath. "An' since they were all one night stands, Ah figured they were meanin'less. Never the same girl, never any emotion. At least on yer part." Remy fought the urge to smirk. "After we lost our powers, thin's changed. We became lovers in the literal sense, not only the figurative. Ah mean, sure we had been able ta be together a few times 'cause of power suppression devices o' whatever. But it wasn't the same. But like Ah said, after we lost our powers, we were finally able to be true lovers. An' Ah assumed that made us both monogamous. Stupid o' me really. Shoulda remembered ya were commitment-phobic. Ah first discovered ya secret hideaway two months before Ah left ya." Remy seemed surprised at this revelation. 'Must have thought I would have split the moment I found out,' she thought wryly. 'Guess he doesn't realize how much I loved him.' "Ah tried to convince myself that Ah should investigate further. Make sure my mind wasn't playin' tricks on me. Ah went through phases. First Ah wanted ta know what she had over me. Why she was better. 'Cause she's the only one ya ever returned ta, besides me. An' then Ah was angry, irrationally angry. Ah wanted to get a horrible revenge. Ah tried everythin' Ah could think of an' some thin's people suggested that last week. But ya still went ta her. That's when Ah had an epiphany." Remy looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to reveal her realization. "Ya didn't love me. Ya loved her."

"_Non__!" Remy cried, interrupting her train of thought. "Dat's not true, _chere_. If y'just let me explain--"_

Waving her hands to settle him, Rogue smiled slightly. "It's okay Remy. Ah'm fine. Really." She smiled to prove her point. "Happy even." She picked up her water glass and something sparkling like the water caught his eye. It was a ring. A diamond ring. A diamond engagement ring. Judging the size, style, and flawlessness, as a thief should, he realized it was quite an expensive right. Noticing his less than furtive glances toward her ring, she let out a soft laugh. "An' Ah've moved on. That's part of the reason Ah wanted ta see ya. Ta say a formal '_Adieu'_." She looked at him carefully and sighed. "Ah still love ya. Always will. But Ah needed somebody who could love me too."

Before he could stop himself, Remy's fists hit the table. "But I do love you, _chere. I told you all the time."_

She let out a small laugh. "Ya always do this." She looked away from his intense gaze. "Ya never tell me ya love me unless yer about ta lose me. Those are the only times." Her deep green eyes met his demon ones once more and she continued. "Do ya remember what ya said ta me? After ya asked me out fo' the first time. Ah didn't want ta go 'cause my powers. But ya said…"

"…don't nobody know how Gambit loves a challenge," he finished for her. This time it was he who looked away, ashamed of his actions. [2]

"That's right," Rogue said softly. "An' after ya won that challenge, ya moved on. Ah can accept that. Honest. An' Ah can even forgive it. But Ah won't ever forget it." Remy nodded slowly in understanding. "Ah have ta be goin', sugah. Come ta the wedding, it'll be at my house in the Garden District. May 12th at 3pm. Ah'll send ya an invitation." She smiled as she stood. "Good-bye Remy. And good luck."

For a moment he couldn't say anything. She turned away and he sighed quietly. "_Au revior, chere." He watched her exit the terrace of the café and sighed. "I'll miss you." He closed his eyes, fighting any emotional response. "I still love you too," he murmured. "But you deserve t'be happy. And I could never deny you that pleasure."_

[1] All dialogue from that section (6 months ago) was taken from X-Treme X-Men #18

[2] That line was from X-Men #4, after the basketball game

You've read it… please review it!! It ain't hard!! Just press the purple button labeled "go". I have faith in y'all!! :) Gracias for reading. Adios.


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